The Tools -- Forgiveness, Compassion, Prayer

Forgiveness

To begin the journey for healing the Earth, ourselves, we must learn to use the tools for healing and evolution: compassion, forgiveness, prayer.

We first must forgive ourselves.

So many people go through life believing that they are not good enough, not worthy for the good things in life. Some may mask this core belief by expressing its opposite, through vanity, false self-love, through self-aggrandizement, through display of material wealth. What they may know deep inside but not wish to admit to themselves or others is that outward displays of ego, wealth accumulation and so-called self-gratification are actually evidence of a deep void in their lives.

These practices are attempts to fill a "black hole" of inner worth.

Some people never confront this emptiness. They go through life dragging the baggage of past attempts at fulfillment with them. They clutter their lives with attitudes of "me, me, me," ever striving for one more "thing" to make them happy, one more achievement or trophy to display to ego self and others as the value of their being.

It can be their nice car or nice house or thrilling vacation, well-mannered children, scholastic degrees on the wall, the trappings of success, an impressive job title. All these, while important for the functioning of society as we know it, for assigning rank and distributing wealth, say nothing about the true inner worth or actual contribution of the individual.

In every civilization, throughout recorded history, the great spiritual leaders have seen through this facade. Christ spoke of it, noting that it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.

We even joke about such things, saying of wealth: You can't take it with you.

As with many spiritual teachings, Christ's words are often distorted.

Jesus wasn't condemning those who have material goods to hell.

Christ was saying that the attachment to wealth, abundance without sharing, life without giving, is a barrier to fulfillment, in this case, the soul's fulfillment of achieving heaven.

Often, people who have acquired great material wealth at some point in their lives realize this truth. They find that the strivings of their lifetimes to amass material wealth have not filled the inner want that pushed them. The wealthy, too, can "hit the wall" of personal limitation.

We often find this "wall" separating us from our hopes and expectations by experiencing a major life change, through losing a loved one, having a debilitating accident, through divorce, losing a job, losing everything through a natural disaster or succumbing to addiction.

Traumatic change is part of the human condition, whether one is rich or poor or somewhere in between. These are real crises in our lives, but as Kathleen A. Brehony says in her book, "After The Darkest Hour (Henry Holt; New York; 2000) they also are great teachers, opportunities "to make us better or make us bitter."

We either grow inwardly from such experiences and discover our inner wealth or we dwell on our inner want, and die a little more each day, never having learned the lesson offered.

This inner want is the cause of so much suffering on Earth. But, as Buddha said, all is illusion. As Jesus said, the Kingdom of God is within you. If only you will "awaken" and see the truth.

This inner want is what causes people to drown their sorrows (seeking God in a bottle) or inject drugs into their veins. It causes people to turn to others for love through one-night stands. It prompts greed, selfishness, or covetousness. And it breeds fear and loathing of others and self.

Inner want is the universal loneliness of being separated from God and the Life Force.

Being separated from inner fulfillment is the greatest barrier to personal freedom and to the ability to give freely to others.

Inner fulfillment is true wealth.

The lesson is discovering the human spirit within us, the Divine spark from which all wealth, spiritual and material, springs. And that great abundance is just waiting to be tapped, within each one of us, able to turn our personal lives around.

Whether it is wealth or want one experiences in life, the great teachers tell us that the great liberator of the human spirit is compassion, with forgiveness an essential component, and prayer is the means for achieving fulfillment. The foundation for achieving such peace is acceptance.

To begin the path of healing, one must first accept oneself for who he or she is, with all faults and failures. Forgive yourself and be forgiven. That is part of the all-encompassing compassion of which the world's spiritual leaders speak.

In every major religion, compassionate forgiveness is the universal love that the Creator has to offer and their followers strive to emulate.

Yet, it just seems so hard to practice in our daily lives.

We often can find it in ourselves to forgive another but not ourselves.

But, consider: If you love your child and he or she hurts you, do you not forgive?

How can you not forgive yourself?

If every major religion has as a basic tenet that the Creator forgives all who seek forgiveness, and God forgives you, who are you to not forgive yourself? Is that not the greatest conceit? To put yourself above God?

Have compassion for yourself.

Love yourself.

God wants you to love yourself -- by that, with understanding, forgiveness, compassion. Be easy on yourself, as you would be with a beloved child. For, to love yourself in that way is to love God.

By honoring yourself, honoring your uniqueness in the world, loving yourself with gentleness and understanding, you honor God.

Let no one try to shame you for loving and honoring yourself and your contributions to the world whatever they may be. God made you in His image. He loves you. Can you not do the same?

Bishop John Lancaster Spaulding said: "Self-love, in the true sense, is the love of one's real good -- of truth, of virtue, of beauty, of God. It is the strongest in those who are most alive in their higher nature. It is the opposite of selfish love."

Be loving, forgiving and compassionate toward yourself. And, then, you can have true compassion for others. That is the first step toward healing.

Compassion

In all the great religions -- in Buddhism, in the Bible, in the Koran -- we are taught to do onto others as we wish for ourselves, to love one another.

Yet, how often do we live up to this ideal? Don't our passions, our inner wants and outer desires, fuel the troubles in the world, often in the name of religion itself?

This is the "static" of Ki.

It is movement for movement's sake, brought on by the misdirection of our intent, creating disharmony and pain, fueling more suffering.

If we are to live our lives impeccably, that is, choosing what we accept as true for ourselves and our world, what we believe it to be and want it to be, we won't "buy in" to disharmony.

By focusing on cultural and personal disharmony, the "static" of Ki, we draw ourselves and our world away from what we can become.

The world needs your compassion. Wholly and completely. Whatever you own, however great or poor is your material wealth, your compassion is limitless -- and priceless. Just as you are worthy of forgiveness and compassion, so are others.

A traditional Tibetan greeting says it all. When two strangers meet, they often use a term of "hello" -- Namaste! -- that translates "the Divine within me greets the Divine within you."

In "The Celestine Prophecy," author James Redfield includes seeing the divinity within another as a thread to discovering the highest nature not only within that person but in yourself.

One of the great benefits of group therapy in settings such as 12-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous is the often expressed belief that "God speaks through other people."

When you look for the best within another person, you often find the best in yourself. And, it seems, almost magically, new insights occur, avenues toward personal development and growth that previously seemed closed are opened wide.

How often have our lives been changed by a "chance" comment from another, often a stranger?

"I have a friend you need to meet . . ." can become a business partnership, or a marriage and children.

"Have you ever read the book . . ." can become a defining personal philosophy.

"There's a course you ought to take . . ." can become a career or lifelong passion.

When you cut yourself off from humanity, you cut yourself off from clues to finding your true life's meaning. No one person has all the answers, all the insights, all the tools for solving life's problems or discovering new ways of being. We each have pieces of the puzzle. And we must recognize the divinity within one another to access the missing pieces in our own personal puzzles.

Why do you think male and female come together? It's not merely procreation, to perpetuate the species. Each human being has a deep, inner need to connect with another, to become one with humanity and discover complementary aspects of self. It is a basic drive of human beings to grow, to reach out and become larger than ourselves. It's a way to share intimately with new ways of being. And the fruit of that growth is extension not only of ourselves, but the evolution of humankind.

The great benefit of love with another is the discovery that one is worthy to be loved. To be judged worthy of love causes us to reach for our greatest potential as individuals. Yet, there is a riddle included in this striving. To feel loved, to give love, one must love oneself.

Otherwise, the only love found will be fleeting. By practicing compassion for ourselves and others, we build the capacity for true, unconditional love. This is a sharing with the universe, the highest human expression of Ki.

You must be impeccable with your loving, as well. Consider the martial arts. The masters are those who understand the nature of Ki and how it is expressed through the human body.

You cannot know how to inflict a range of disability without knowing how to achieve greatest ability. Masters of the martial arts do not study hurting others. They study the perfection of the body -- how Ki moves through the physical medium -- and, thus, learn its strengths and vulnerabilities.

The goal is not to hurt another but to perfect and protect the self.

That is why the disciplines of martial arts are essentially defensive, not offensive.

Self-defense is an outgrowth of the task of maintaining peace.

Peace. Balance. Being centered.

At times, we will be hurt. But it is up to us to decide if the pain is growth, the destruction of illusion, or unnecessary, self-inflicted pain.

A person who is continually hurt in a relationship is not in love with the person inflicting the pain, but is in love with the pain. It takes balance to grow, to reach fulfillment.

It takes mental toughness to keep your center, in love, in life. But God's hands are soft and loving, compassionate, forgiving. He cannot do much with a hardened heart or eyes focused only on pain.

We must stay centered even in compassion. We cannot heal the pain if we let it consume us.

Having compassion toward self and others is essential to achieve personal perfection, to find fulfillment, for the camel to pass through the eye of the needle, to reach heaven.

It can be a tool for healing not only ourselves and helping others heal themselves, but heal the Earth, as well.

The key to that is by practicing forgiveness for ourselves and others, compassion toward ourselves and others, and using an ancient technology: prayer

Prayer

In the beginning was the Word . . .

Before there was anything, the Bible tells us, the universe and all the things in it, were created by an utterance: the Word of God.

We often take for granted the power we as human beings have in being able to use words.

We are the namers of things. We name the universe and all things in it, described by utterance: the word of man. And those words create our universe.

In this, we are created in God's image.

If we cannot name it, it doesn't exist.

If we can name it, it determines our actions.

The power of the word is perfectly illustrated by Don Miguel Ruiz in his book "The Four Agreements" (Amber-Allen Publishing; San Rafael, Calif.).

Using the worldview of the Toltec, Ruiz describes how we can empower our words and, thus, greatly amplify our lives and the meaning we derive from life. To gain the true power of the word, we must be "impeccable," Ruiz says, along the lines popularized by Carlos Castaneda in his teachings of Don Juan books.

We create our inner and outer realities by how we use the word.

From our internal dialogues ("Why am I so stupid!") to our outward expressions ("That dress makes you look fat!") we create not only how we view ourselves but how others may view themselves.

A child, for example, who has been told throughout her formative years that she is ugly or worthless will grow up believing she is ugly and worthless. Little boys told "it's unmanly to cry" will grow up out of touch with their feelings and are likely to deal harshly with those in true need.

Those told they should feel guilty about displaying emotion or who fear taking risks or avoid the ridicule of being seen as out of the ordinary, will live limited lives.

They will become human beings who are fearful of their humanity, people who feel guilty about expressing what they feel and embarrassed to reveal their hopes, their beliefs, their yearnings or even to question what everyone has told them who they should be and how they should act.

They will become human beings who are not only disconnected from their fellow human beings, but are disconnected from their true selves and unable to pursue the path uniquely suited for them.

Their world is not their own. And instead of being masters of their universe, they are slaves to the thinking of others -- or, what they perceive the thinking of others to be, by people inwardly as frightened and confused or self-deluded as they are.

By succumbing to these often subconscious dictates of who we are and what we are supposed to be, we are giving away the keys to the kingdom of heaven. We are losing the precious life and time we have on this planet by agreeing to beliefs that often are meant to manipulate us into acting in certain ways or supporting certain groups.

We are giving away our lives, word by word, often glibly and gladly.

Ruiz gives four easy steps as a way to remove this clutter and empower your life.

It begins with the word. How you use words and what words you choose to affect you and how you think about yourself and what you think about the world is vital to living a life free of much of the misery of the world. Or, the world as we perceive it.

Once you become "impeccable" with your use of the word and how it affects you, you can begin to choose what you believe to be true and what is clearly false.

And your words will be empowered.

That is especially important in learning how to pray. The key word here is "learning" to pray.

People "pray" all the time. But praying with power is a discipline that demands impeccability.

Spiritual leaders throughout time have emphasized the importance and power of prayer. Martyrs have given their lives for the right of common people to pray their own prayers without interpretation or rote by social/military/government authorities.

Prayer, when guided by pure intent, is the power of the word that comes closest to God's Word.

We often joke "be careful what you pray for," but it's true.

How often have we looked back and remembered how fervently we prayed for something to happen -- a new job, a new house, a car, a lover -- and, then, years later realized that we got what we wished for and it didn't turn out how we thought it would. Or, looked back and thanked God that what we prayed for hadn't happened.

Prayers work for two reasons:

1. They focus our intent.
2. They draw the inner power of the Spirit within us to bear on the object of our desire.

Prayers don't always work, or seem to work, for various reasons.

It could be that our prayer is unrealistic, for example, praying (or wishing) that we could become rich or famous. It may be that the wish has already come true (you are rich, in the love of others, or have the material goods millions on this planet do not enjoy or you are famous to those who know and love you). Or, it could be that the aggregate of wishes/desires held by others outweigh the power of your want/need. And it could be karma.

People often have a misguided idea about what constitutes karma. Karma is not that you are condemned to do certain things in life or are being punished or rewarded. It's much deeper than that. God may not always give you what you want but the Creator always gives you what you need. You may in this brittle, ephemeral lifetime that you can now perceive have "wants" or "needs." But the plan for your life is not based on your momentary wants or needs. If it's true that our souls choose our parents before birth and the living conditions we will have, then our wants and needs are dictated by that choice. We chose to be here and chose this life we live. It's up to us each individually to make of it what we will and learn the lessons that we are here to learn.

That is karma. And, it's true, as the Bible says, you will reap as you have sown, both in daily events and in a lifetime. We create our own heavens and hells appropriate to us through our choices.

In his "Celestine" books, James Redfield speaks of the merging of prayer and karma.

He says that we each have a "prayer field" that surrounds us at all times, operating inside of us and interacting with the world at large.

If you pray for something to happen, it focuses your mind on looking for that thing and ways to obtain that thing. That prayer operates in the physical world through our actions, remarks, goings and comings. It operates in the spiritual "world" by drawing our interest toward those people, places and events that will help us in our search for that thing, that "completeness."

When things suddenly "come together" miraculously, it is called synchronicity.

The term was coined by Jung to explain what happens when the individual taps the universal consciousness.

What most of us don't realize is that every waking moment is a prayer (as can be dreams). If we speak hatefully toward another through gossip, our ill intent is sent toward that person with ramifications through the others we share our gossip with. And it's likely that ill intent will rebound on us. "What goes around, comes around."

That's karma.

If we focus our intent on healing the Earth, ourselves, through prayer, real miracles can happen.

To be truly effective, humans must join one another in prayer.

Remember: Prayer, when guided by pure intent, is the power of the word that comes closest to God's Word.

The Hopi say that mass earthquakes, floods, fires, etc., are ways that the Earth tell us that humans are getting too separate, too far apart.

It is through these tragedies, people focusing on each other with hope, will, heart, the intent to make a better way for all individually and together, that the essence of humankind, its humanness, compassion, love, cooperatively united, come forward ("Meditations with the Hopi" by Robert Boissiere; Bear & Co., Santa Fe, 1986).

For the Arapaho, the hope for humankind is symbolized by the Flat Pipe, a sacred object. It created the Earth. As the Creator was walking over the primeval water, holding the pipe and saying, "I do wish there would be a land where I could keep (this pipe) holy and reverently," in answer to his prayers, birds and animals came from the four directions, and, with love and cooperation, took turns diving for earth to create the world.

Perhaps the most well-known of Native American lore regarding the power of prayer and its purpose for humankind is that of the White Buffalo Calf Woman of the Sioux. She taught the people the songs and prayers of five great ceremonies for healing, community, personal fulfillment and peace.

Pipe and sweat lodge ceremonies are powerful ways to pray and bring forth the Great Spirit, the Breath of the Creator, to stir within ourselves and become reality within our individual and collective lives.

We must always remember that, though simple, prayer is a great power.

We must always remember that our individual choices in even the smallest things create the prayer form that is our individual and collective lives.

In his book, "The Isaiah Effect" (Harmony Books; New York, 2000), Gregg Braden calls prayer and prophecy "ancient technologies" that modern civilization too often overlooks.

He cites a 1980s scientific experiment in Jerusalem ("International Peace Project in the Middle East," David W. Orme-Johnson, et al., The Journal of Conflict Resolution, 32, No. 4, Dec. 1988) that demonstrates the power of mass prayer.

It proved that disorder (crime, traffic accidents, other quantifiable measures of social conduct) could be reduced by groups focused on reducing conflict through prayer/meditation.

Braden says that the studies indicate that the first effects of the mass meditation/prayer became noticeable when the number of people participating in the prayers was greater than the square root of one percent of the population.

In a city of one million people, for example, this value represents only 100 individuals.

The square root of one percent of the Earth's population (approximately 6 billion people) is just under 8,000 people.

That, Braden says, is the minimum required for the effect to begin. A threshold. The greater the number, the greater the acceleration of the effect.

How does this happen?

We know that we all have choices. For example, in crime, a person has a choice to act violently or not. That's our subjective experience.

Seen objectively, for each incident of crime observed in a city, another outcome already existed in that very moment: one with an absence of crime. Researchers, Braden says, call such possibilities "overlays," as they appear to blanket one reality with the outcome of a new possibility.

Quantum physics suggests that by redirecting our focus -- where we place our attention -- we bring a new course of events into focus while at the same time releasing an existing course of events that may no longer serve us. That is the power of prayer, both within us and without us, directing our energies in our personal lives and outwardly through both our physical and spiritual lives. If enough people join their spiritual intent could it actually cause transmutation? The changing of toxins on the planet?

If enough people pray as the ancients taught, as Native Americans learned communally, as Jesus did in performing His miracles (but too few have truly heard and heeded), with pure intent and with greater harmony of the inner and outer life, it can happen.

We are daily picking up pieces of the puzzle, through Reiki, through shamanic practices, through practicing vibrational medicine, through becoming more attuned to our intuition, our "inner voices," our guides, angels, power animals and spirits.

So as above, so as below.

It's not "mind over matter" but a blending of mind AND matter -- following intent, guided by Spirit.

We can transform ourselves and we can transform our world. We can open ourselves to become the locus of time, space, spirit and matter to let the force of life, of Ki, find its best expression.

It is urgent that we do so.

Healing the Earth, ourselves is a matter of life and death.